Want Some Candy?

Here we sit, ready to begin our first and foremost blog entry as I type and Meg lounges on the bed scratching her naughty bits. We’ve been living together for almost a month and a half now so of course the next step would be to start a blog together; so here we go. What to expect from said blog – damned dirty apes, that’s what. Oh yes, I hereby guarantee that anyone who continuously reads this blog will be entertained more then if they you simultaneously watched every Charlton Heston movie Clockwork Orange style (eye drops and all) while concurrently eating a Teriyaki Tofu sub from Mellow Mushroom (quite possibly the most flavorful substance known to man). How…could we possible achieve such a grotesque level of engagement with our blog? Bullshit. That’s right dear friends, it’s the bullshit. And not just any old run of the mill bullshit. We’re talking about the kind of bullshit the tractor industry was built on. The kind of bullshit that Wal-Mart executives tell themselves so they can sleep at night. The kind of massive, unyielding, turdish bullshit that that keeps Bush’s approval ranking hovering around 35 percent. Yes, that kind of bullshit. So get ready as we drop the shit-mobile into 2^nd and peel out on our way out of the subdivisions of Northern Virginia, screaming like drunken banshees all the while clutching our precious liberal ideologies so as not to let it give way to one of conservative consumerism. Let the Jones’ keep up with this, mother fucker.