US Airways Response

"Dear Ms. Hxxx

Thank you for contacting Customer Relations at US Airways. We appreciate hearing from our customers and having an opportunity to address their concerns.

Please accept my apology for the disappointment you feel towards US Airways. Your comments have been documented and reported to management.

We appreciate and value your business. We hope to welcome you on board a US Airways flight at some point in the future.

Cordially,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
US Airways Customer Relations
Corporate Office"

Oh wow, an actual apology...for the “disappointment I feel.” Interesting wording. It manages to avoid admitting any fault whatsoever. In fact, it's more like I'm at fault because it seems that the only issue is that I "feel" disappointed. Ok, here’s what I want- I want a real response that 1. is honest 2. contains some shred of sincerity and 3. accepts responsibility. (I also want a toilet made out of solid gold and I realize none of these things are in the cards.)

Here is an acceptable US Airways response:

Dear Miss H,

Thank you for contacting Customer Relations at US Airways and alerting us of our many failures and consistent shortcomings. We appreciate hearing from our customers despite our lack of interest in how our business practices systematically screw them.

On behalf of US airways, please accept my sincere apology for causing you repeated distress. Your insightful comments have been heard and we will do everything in our power to correct the many issues. We promise to:

1. Have representatives that are proficient in the English language because after all this is US Airways and most of our customers therefore speak English.
2. We vow to have one representative resolve your issue so you won’t have to repeat your problem to 50 employees before being dismissed.
3. Our representatives will provide you with a name and direct call back number so you won't have to repeat the same song and dance if we (in all likelihood) fail to adequately fix the problem the first go around.
4. If your flight is delayed for any reason, we will alert you as soon as possible and we will be sure to have competent, articulate and courteous personnel staff the gate desk to help you make alternate arrangements.
5. If your flight has been canceled, we will have a LIVE PERSON call you to help you make alternate arrangements.
6. We will drug/alcohol test our pilots before entrusting them with the lives of our customers.
7. We will honor ticket insurance policies.
8. We will return missing luggage within 12 hours for domestic flights and 24 hours for international flights. Should your missing luggage force to incur additional expenses, you will be compensated because after all, we fucked up.
9. If we quote you at a price, we will sell you the ticket at that price.
10. We will not charge you $400 for a ticket and still charge you $1 for tea on your flight.

Although we have failed you many times in the past, we hope that our efforts to provide actual customer service will persuade you to reconsider your views and possibly fly with us again in the future. If not, can we at least still be friends?

Sincerely,

Gustav Whatshisname
US “Lead Balloon” Airways

Open Letter to US Airways

Dear US Airways,

I’ve flown with you several times in the past, mostly out of necessity but I’m writing to you today to inform you that I will do everything in my power to make sure I never fly your carrier again; no matter how you adjust your prices. In fact, would be willing to pay a 50% premium over your ticket prices simply to avoid being inconvenienced by your collective ineptitude. I will savor the opportunity to give your competitors my money in the hopes that your company will eventually fade away and the skies will become a friendlier place.

For your own edification, my complaints are thus:

• Any time there is ever an issue I need to resolve, your company finds it necessary to transfer me to 3-4 different people. If you can afford to pay that many people whose sole function is to transfer calls, do you really need to charge me $2 for an in-flight soft drink?

• Getting anything resolved through your call centers is worse than trying to order from a drive through. The reception is awful and the person on the other end has only a rudimentary grasp of the English language.
• The people staffing the desks at the gate are consistently rude, ill informed and completely useless. Was once stuck at the airport for 3 hours waiting for a flight that was delayed for whatever reasons. Not a single person offered any information regarding how this would be handled. So naturally, I missed my connecting flight and arrived home 5 hours later than originally planned and of course, you lost my luggage.
• I’m sure you’re getting a lot of complaints about how you charge for checked baggage but I really don’t care. Charge whatever you like because there is no way I’m crazy enough to check a bag with you. Your company loses luggage with a consistency that astounds me. In fact, it’s the only thing you do consistently. Congratulations, you get an A for failing.
• Here’s a fun one -- on my last flight out of town the pilot MISSED THE RUNWAY. At the last minute he had to pull up and try again. (By the way, I would recommend doing sobriety checks on your pilots prior to take off.) Thanks to your pilot’s bumbling I had to run to catch my next flight which was particularly fun given I recently had knee surgery.
• You can cancel my flight 2 hours before take off but if I need to change a reservation, it costs me $150 and an hour of my time.
• And my personal favorite -- after my trade show schedule was unexpectedly disrupted by freight issues, I had to change two tickets to later times. I swallowed the fact that I had to pay $150 to change the tickets (despite the fact that I purchased insurance on those tickets) and I was all set to book a later flight. I was also told the tickets were the same price so there would be no additional charges. I was then put on hold for about 10-15 minutes while the representative booked the alternate flight. When the representative returned I was told that the “system” had “updated” and now I was going to be charged an additional $77 per ticket. Wow priced JUST under what it would cost me to purchase a new ticket. Very clever.

No doubt you’re telling yourself “these inconveniences are industry standards but you know what, that is no excuse. It costs hundreds of dollars to fly with you, not to mention every passenger has to put their faith in you that you can keep your planes in the air. Considering how you mangle everything you do on the ground, I’m not willing to go that far.